I hate this semester. Everything about this semester is weird and horrid. This is the finishing line. But I do not have that fantastic feeling about completing graduation etc etc. I feel bored. This is a sustained kind of boredom. I don't feel like hanging out in the department these days. I don't feel like attending classes, taking tests etc. Graduation was very important for me. It was supposed to be a kind of victory. Some achievement. It meant a lot, precisely because I did it all on my own and stuff like that. But now that it is about to end, I feel stupid. The world that I had created has sort of broken down. There is nothing in it except compulsion. Drudgery. Boredom. Disillusionment. Meaninglessness.
This is not about my future. And what I want to do. This is entirely about my present, which is some kind of a void.
8 comments:
"Don't worry about a thing,
'cause every little thing gonna be all right" :)
amaro ekdom same bhabna chinta. jodio i am not as self-made as you are. kintu other than that feeling and the feeling of victory, amaro baki prottek ta onubhuti hocche.
ore bon. dara, toke ek botol old monk kine debo.
this heat is scrambling your brains.
@ Chiquita: :( :( :(
@ dibbo: kichhu self made na go. plain simple stupid. :(
everything now is awful.
@ bimbo: shotti boroi gorom.
Disillusioned laagche? Blame it on this semester. Nothing seems to work out perfectly. PG-tey maybe things will be different.
:)
I agree about the semester. Specially Core and Novel and Modernity. I don't know *what* to study, so I don't feel like getting down to it.
As for the disillusionment thing, that happens to everyone in phases.
@ Anurima: Hope things get better in PG, yeah!
@ Elendil: troo that brother.
eto porle ei rokomi thik mone hoye. take a break.
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